You Are Invited to the Banquet of Consequences!

I am a huge believer of karma. As bitchy as I know I am, I never wish misfortunes unto others even if they wrong me. I know that life has a way of making us pay for everything we do so I just ask to be around to see it happen when it’s time for my nemesis to get it. Hahah!

A certain someone whom I used to work with would take a lot of time of her day to do stupid shit to set me up to fail at my job. She would take things from my office that I needed for any event (without telling me of course) would cut me out from communications so I’d look stupid when someone asked me about particular things, and would straight steal my work. She succeeded in making me leave the place, I’ll give her that. But now that she is the queen of her thrown, she is drowning. Literally.

For some reason, without asking, these things come back to me. Said person is desperately looking for people to help her with two HUGE events and no one is budging. Maybe if she wasn’t such a WITCH people would help her out.

But that is what happens when you are conniving. People will never trust you. I am not happy she is going through this, but I am not surprise. You reap what you sow and if you go around rubbing people the wrong way, guess what? They will give you a big middle finger in your face when you really do need them. My words of wisdom are simple: Sometimes it’s really hard to be the bigger person and walk away without retaliating or at least cussing someone out when they are being assholes to you. But if and when you do, just know that sooner or later you get front row seats to Karma’s Show. So grab that popcorn!

tumblr_mwn21rfwBA1sgrjfbo1_1280

And those are the words of wisdom of the day!
Keep it classy and a little bit trashy!

xoxo,

Arleene

 

Unfinished Business

I recently discovered Jhene Aiko (I know…I am slow…don’t judge me) and there is something about her that makes me think and think and think some more. Not about love or anything, just of a person that came suddenly into my life and fell out of it just as quickly. No goodbye. Just a gradual drift, the kind that leaves a tiny hole in your life that continues to grow with time until it becomes a big dark void.

I say void because I am that person that likes closures. Even if it means leaving on bad terms, I like to know the exact moment it ended. If I don’t get that, then here I am thinking about these things on my way to work with Jhene Aiko on the radio. I fucken hate that.

By the way, this person was NOT a boyfriend or anything like that. It was someone I considered a very close friend. The ones you confide your deepest darkest secrets to without even knowing why. That friend who understands your sarcasm better than anyone and doesn’t think you’re a complete asshole because they are sort of an asshole too. So yea, it sorta sucked when their phone number changed and I didn’t get the memo. I know why it happened, I just wished I would have at least gotten a “Bye, nice knowing you” on the way out.

I know it’s going to continue to bother me but I also have a feeling I will see this person again sometime in this lifetime. Because that’s how these things work. I just hope I am 20 pounds thinner and looking bomb dot com when it happens because that is the best way to say goodbye to someone that doesn’t deserve that much.

Image

Thank you for reading!

xoxo,

Arleene

Bloody Mary With A Celery

Who saw the blood moon? I did! I did! According to Zodiac Arts (shit, I sound like I am writing a term paper!):

A lunar eclipse is a time of beginnings, endings, exposure and major changes. It always has something to do with “relationships”. The changes are tied to how we relate and will have a lasting impression. Emotions run high, causing upsets and feelings of disorientation. Actions taken may not have the expected results, but they do bring awareness and enlightenment. The energy of an eclipse is at its strongest during the two days before and three days after its occurrence.

At lunar eclipses we: merge, unite, announce, contact, present ourselves, bring something out into the open, make decisions, engage, rise to the challenge, make an effort, change, get a new perspective, join with others, take on greater challenges, travel at a faster pace, feel restless, feel pressured by deadlines and a buildup of emotions, and experience excitement and crisis.

All I know is that I stayed up way past my bedtime to see it happen, to manifest to the universe, and marvel in the ways of the world. I know I read a lot about this being the end of the world and people need to stop with that shit because it’s annoying. I don’t want to know when I am going to die so let me live in blissful denial.

I like to walk on the sunny side of the sidewalk so if you experienced the blood moon by looking up at the sky (or through Facebook), I wish you a happy new beginning!

imagesCA2MUJWP

Thank you for reading!

xoxo,

Arleene

Welcome to reality…

The darling beau and I went hunting for the perfect dining room table yesterday and of course the one I wanted was $1600 WITHOUT the chairs. He said the budget was $600…I was only a grand over. We looked at another table that was all wrong and he made the executive decision to go ahead and buy it. I wanted to cry.

I sat pouting (literally) in the mock display living room thinking, HOW DARE HE! That table wasn’t even round, it was an effing rectangle. He was totally killing my Pintrest vision of our dining room! He finally came over right before paying and asked me why I was so upset. I told him we didn’t need to buy the very expensive table but I really had my heart set on a round one because, aesthetically, it goes better with our tiny dining area at home. Maybe we should keep shopping around?

He completely agreed and on the drive home we came to the conclusion that I should be the one calling the design shots (within a budget) and he should just agree and pay. Ok so not in those words exactly, but you catch my drift. I was able to avoid a total meltdown in the middle of a busy furniture store and save myself the trouble of giving him the silent treatment for the rest of the day. What a little communicating can do for your nerves! I should have just told him all this before throwing my tantrum but being an adult takes practice and I am only half way there.

Today’s words of wisdom are simple: Speak up. It really does save a lot of headaches and usually when done nicely (or semi-nicely) you are able to get the other person to agree. If they don’t, then just kick them…win win!

MjAxMy0zN2NlNDhlZTgyZjhjN2Qz_523341a6a9402_rc

And those are the words of wisdom of the day!
Thank you for reading!

xoxo,

Arleene

 

 

You, my friend, are a champ at life!

I haven’t been on the work force for too long (going on my 5th year barely), but already I have adjectives attached to my name: ruthless, assertive, obsessive attention to detail (nicer way to say I am anal), strong willed, ambitious, stubborn. In other words, my colleagues consider me a bitch. A funny bitch because I still make them laugh after tormenting them.

So imagine my nerves when I have to deal with passive aggressive people, especially in a work environment. I start to break out in hives. I literally feel a thousand aunts crawling up my skin as I sit there and witness displays of stupidity. I can’t, in good faith, respect someone in a position of authority who:

A) doesn’t have clear visions or expectations

B) has zero accountability. We all fuck up, get over yourself.

C) throw people under the bus. Why on earth would I have your back?

D) are so insecure it seeps out of their pores…don’t let me threaten your petty power (rolls eyes)

Its mind boggling to me how these people even manage to function, let alone how the hell they got their titles in the first place. Well in most of my cases, I’ve known how they did, which makes me understand why they feel paranoid of anyone that has actual talent. It’s like a plague so if I can offer any words of wisdom today, they are as follows: Stay the hell away from these people, wear protective gear to work, avoid breathing their same air, gain guidance from healthy managers (they are very few left but they are out there) and don’t fall victim of wishy washy assholes!

Image

And those are the words of wisdom!
Thanks for reading!

xoxo,

Arleene

It’s a good day somewhere in the world…

This morning, I woke up in a sea of my own sweat. I was dreaming that I was pregnant and in LABOR! Holy shit, if that doesn’t get you out of bed fast enough, I don’t know what will! Being the paranoid, superstitious, chicken shit that I am, I took it upon myself to Google the meaning of my dream and prayed a million Hail Mary’s asking to please spare the fruit of thy womb because I am not ready yet! According to E-Dream Interpretation

If you dream of being pregnant and going into labor, this means that you will soon undergo an important life change.

The change will begin within you, but will probably require the cooperation of others to be completed. You may also be in the process of getting rid of your old habits and ways

I don’t know if this whole “finding my purpose” mindset has me dreaming all this scary stuff but I better undergo these “changes” soon so I can move one with my life. And I really hope that my “changes” include me quitting my job and setting my ambitions on being a trophy wife.

Today my boss sent me one of her last minute erratic requests which included me loading crates of donated expensive tequila in my car. I told her I didn’t feel comfortable keeping 7 crates of tequila in my trunk and back seat for a week and if they broke, that’s $1,000 a bottle…on me. She went on to “remind” me that it is in my job description to do these kinds of things (Where exactly? Oh yea, under “other duties as assigned.”) I never really say things like this, but I really hope she gets her ass kicked one day. Just for fun. 

So if anyone wants a shot, you know who to call! When life throws you lemon, have a tequila party right? 

Image

And those are the words of wisdom of the day!
Thank you for reading!

xoxo,

Arleene 

Of death and other things…

This weekend, I went back home to visit my mother because she had minor surgery. On my way back home, I had about 4 hours to think about everything and nothing at all and I came to the conclusion: I have no more words of wisdom.

First of all, what made me think I did? I have no life. Second of all, now I feel pressured to write profound insight on how life works when I have no idea how to function on most days of the week. It was a sad realization.

My mom was telling me that she was listening to some show on the radio where a theologist had said that there will be a World War III and that a false prophet will rise from that war but then 3 years later, the real savior will come and end all that war and false prophecies and the world will end. Very promising future ahead of us. I am not into all that religious theories (a lifetime in Catholic school made sure it killed that for me) but thanks a lot mother. I will never sleep soundly again thinking I am going to die in a war.

Just kidding. I don’t think too much into things like that or else I will hyperventilate, but it did make me think of my purpose. Someone once said there were two great moments in a person’s life: The day they were born and the day they found their purpose.  It fucken frustrates me.

I don’t know what my purpose is. I think of all the things I want to do with my life and then get exhausted and opt for the bon bons instead. Or I see how complacent the people around me are with their little 9-to-5 job and their little Priuses and I want to slap them in the face. All this thinking makes me feel like clawing my eyes out so instead I am just going to write this while sipping on my gin and juice (ok just juice) and pretend I am in Tahiti instead of a grey, cold office.

I guess I do have some words of wisdom left in me: Don’t live in your head. Instead, let’s go out and live life! I like life. It’s fun and frustrating and full of stupid people but hey, we are still here. To fulfill the purposes we are unclear of. And P.S. Please don’t tell me your theories about the end of the world. I rather be in denial about that forever until I die!

images

And those are the words of wisdom of the day!

Thank you for reading!

xoxo,

Arleene